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Meyers photo.jpg

OILY DUCKS ARE HER SIDE HUSTLE by Jon Meyers

April 8, 2021

Listen.

An automatic compulsion is a large force of nature, not a baby duckling.

When she and her lover traveled down of the Gulf of Mexico, little did they know Edna would show up. They should have anticipated, there’d be an Edna. There’s always an Edna. 

Or someone like her.

Just this year, so far, there were four, not exactly like her, but getting closer.   Since everything happens for a reason, and since they were down there anyway, she and her lover volunteered.

It was the least they could do.  

 

Right.

An automatic compulsion is a tanker split in two, not a baby duckling covered in crude oil.

When she and her lover donned large yellow rubber gloves, little did they know Edna would show up.  Edna needed to tear her friend away from her lover because Edna was having another crisis.   Edna had been beat up by her abusive husband. 

Again.

Just this last year, so far, Edna had gone back to him four times.  It wasn’t five, but getting closer. Since everything happens for a reason, and since she was down there anyway cleaning ducks, sure, she’d take a break from her lover and listen to Edna.            

It was the least she could do.

 

Here.

“Hold my oily duck,” she said to her lover. “An automatic compulsion is an unwelcome interruption.”

When she and her lover were each mid-duck, half-cleaned with Dawn dishwashing liquid, little did he know she would hand hers to her lover.  Edna was having another crisis, again, which was bigger than an oil spill, bigger than contaminated wetlands. Edna needed help.  Before you argue otherwise, maybe this time Edna wouldn’t go back. 

Maybe this time.

Just this last year, so far, Edna got a job and her own car.  Not exactly leaving, but getting closer. Since everything happens for a reason, it just so happened that she and her lover were there at the right place at the right time.  Her lover would be splattered, er, flattered to hold her flapping oily duck for her. 

It was the least her lover could do.

Jon Meyers teaches First Year writing and Intro to Lit at Western Kentucky University.  He has a B.A. in Film, and M.A. in English, and is completing his M.F.A. in Screenwriting (June 2021).  He is the only US moderator for Into The Script, a London-based online writing advice hub with 6.8k active followers.  He has a dozen scripts available for film, TV, and radio – including Riding Aristotle, which was an Official Selection of the Atlanta Comedy Film Festival.  He has recently been named the 2022 Narrative Fiction Genre Manage for LitCon.org.

 

Tags Jon Meyers, Oily Ducks are Her Side Hustle, oily ducks, side hustle, hustle, ducks, dispatch
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